“We need to talk”
I’ve learned that these might be one of the most uncomfortable sentences a person could ever hear.
These four little words do not ever mean: “I want to have a nice conversation with you, possibly over dinner”. No, it means there is going to be bad news. It means the other person has something to tell you, that you don’t want to hear. And you might need to brace yourself. There is a slight chill of fear down your spine. How hard will it be? How much will it cost?
It could be different types of bad news, regarding on whom they’re coming from. Here’s a list:
- Boss – You will be fired. Second best: we need to reduce your salary
- Boyfriend: He wants to break up. Prepare by getting champagne or Kleenex, depending on what kind of boyfriend he has been.
- Landlord: Your building is going to be demolished and you need to move out. Next week. (Call your Mom, you’ll be moving back home. Again)
- Bank: There is a serious overdraft on your credit card.
- 18 yo son: He demolished your car and didn’t have insurance
- Doctor: This one is potentially very bad and will scare you half to death. Nine times out of ten, it just means they misplaced your blood test and you need to go back for another one.
- Bestie: Her other friends have decided they don’t want to party with you anymore. Like a partial break-up. You need to reconsider your drinking habits if you want to join back in.
- Laundry service: They managed to completely ruin your favourite coat, that you paid a small fortune for. Back in 1987. Which means they consider it worthless.
- Car mechanic: Your car has a problem that will cost more to fix than the car is worth.
- Teacher: You are about to fail this course. You might need to reconsider your choice of education, or start putting some serious effort in.
When people really do want to talk to you, as in having a nice conversation, or even just plain gossip, they wont ask for a “talk”. The invitation could be for practically anything else, like drinks, lunch or a walk along the beach.
“Let’s meet up for a drink” is exactly the opposite. This will bring good news, or if nothing else, good conversation. Either way, no reason to bring the big handkerchief along.