I decided to cancel Christmas this year. It seemed pointless to try to find a way to celebrate the one major family holiday without family. Because all my Christmas traditions and memories are all about family. Having the people around that you love and care about the most. Some people have found this sad, but it really isn’t. In my mind, it would be sad to try to find a way to create any kind of Christmas spirit without having any family here. And most of all, without Peter. The reason I’m here to begin with.
It has to be ‘all or nothing’. And this year I choose ‘nothing’. Did not send any cards, buy any gifts, nor decorate the house. And it’s actually okay.
Well, I’m aware that it’s actually Jesus’ birthday. Which it will still be, wether I put a Christmas tree up or not.
Six years ago, I spent my first Christmas in Portugal, and my first ever without my children around. Peter and I decided to create our own new traditions. So we did.
We would share a bottle of Portuguese champagne (preferably with an ocean view) and enjoy the sunshine, and of course, each others company and love. That was the best Christmas gift, just having each other.
Last year Peter decided we needed to alter the plans a little and spend the holidays with all of the grandchildren around. So, we invited ourselves to Marita & Erik’s house, and had a fantastic Christmas, just the way he wished for: snow, big decorated tree, Santa Claus and of course having grandchildren on his knee.
This year, I’m sort of in between traditions. I have to create new ones. Of course, there is always the option to travel, and another year, I might do just that. But for now, I really prefer to just cherish the memories of Christmases past. It’s hard to explain, but I feel I really just want to be at home, beacuse this is where my heart is.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t be sad, but right now, it looks like I might not be able to keep such a promise. I put some Christmas tunes on the speakers, and memories do bring some tears down my cheeks.
Luckily, I have good friends all around, and this afternoon I have been invited to share a Christmas meal with some fellow Swedes. The table will offer all the Swedish specialties, and the weather will allow us to be outside, in the sun. Again, I will be able to enjoy the best of two worlds.
So, I didn’t send out any cards, but I can promise one thing: you are all in my thoughts. All of you that have been there for me, during this past year. Supporting me, cheering me up, sending me encouraging messages. I wish you all Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!!