Not long ago, a friend of mine kindly suggested I should get a total make-over, including a visit to a creative hairdresser and then also facelift. (!!) All suggested in a helpful manner, in order to make me more attractive on “the market”. I will admit, it did take me some time to process that information and come to terms with it. (No, still processing) And here are my thoughts on this topic:
I really had no idea, that I might need some serious “body-work” in this department. And it was a bit of surprise to hear this from a ‘sister’. Clearly, I don’t look like I’m 30 anymore. That is mainly due to the fact that I’m not.
I’ve already passed the half-century mark. And have all the lines, strechmarks and wrinkles to prove it. Is that OK?
How does one define “attractive” when it comes to how a woman looks? I think there could be a multitude of different answers to that, depending on whom you ask. Some want curves, some want a brain, and some want – what exactly? Women’s magazines that give advice in this department are all written by women. And it appears they are all trying to put you down, lower your self-esteem and make you reach for your wallet and buy just that special product or item that will solve the entire problem. (Not falling for this trick BTW.)
To be totally honest here, I don’t think I have ever qualified as pretty, not even while still under 30. I doubt anyone was ever attracted to me because of my beauty. I have always been the “plain girl” but there are other characteristics and parameters, by which I have been defined, liked and loved.
Would I even want a man that likes me solely because of my looks? Is that what a relationship is based on? Well, if you’re out stalking people at bars or on dating sites, it will be just that first image that initiates a contact. Then what? (And why do people on dating sites lie about their age, height, weight when all of it becomes apparent if you eventually do meet??)
At this point though, gravity has taken a toll. Bum, boobs, and face are all working their way towards the center of the earth. One day, I might go to the gym and get some parts more fit. Only, I find that incredibly boring and not a priority. If I eventually find my way there, it will be only for my own health benefits and nothing else.
I’m probably just as vain as any other woman. Of course, I’d like to think I look nice, and I’m totally flattered if I can cause heads to turn. So I do my best, like staying in shape, occasionally apply makeup, and have my nails done. Every now and then I miss my younger appearance and grieve that loss for a bit. But then I just have to accept the fact that it’s all history and make the best of what I’ve got. Which might not be enough to make the cover of a magazine, but that was never on my wish list anyway.
So what makes women go to any lengths to stay attractive? Do we (wrongly?) assume that men are that shallow, that they would judge a woman only by her looks? Should we give the guys some credit as for looking for other qualities?
I’ve been lucky to have had a man that loved me for all that I am. At my best and my worst. And I’d like to think that only a man that still loves me at my worst, is the one that deserves me. And the only one I could put up with in the long run.
So, come on, and share your thoughts on this (write a comment below). Since I’m still in processing mode, and your input will be most helpful. What makes a woman beautiful? What defines her? What to avoid? And then: how do I know it’s really time to get that facelift…..